Facebook -where opinions and passions go to die

If you have ever seen a cockroach slowly struggle for life as it is sprayed with poison then you will know exactly what it is like to be on the opposing end of a Facebook fight. Here are some tips to win your very own social media battle;

  • Go in strong. Use phrases like ‘lol’ and ‘hahahhaha’ to commence your argument to let everyone else know their opinion is ridiculous and there is no way in social media hell it is valued.
  •  Attack their personal appearance. Check out their profile picture and find their biggest flaw, then use it against them because it will make your argument logical, sound and you will ultimately win the quarrel.
  • Don’t bother reading their comments. It is incomprehensible that you should be open to their opinions and beliefs. Do not question your beliefs because that could incur change. Nobody wants change, especially if it benefits society. But by all means questions theirs, especially if it is arguing against your self-funded education that has been instilled into you and couldn’t possibly be flawed.
  • Screenshot their comments and post them in another thread -potentially one who is on your side (the right side) and laugh. Add some laughing emojis for added effect.
  • Get your similarly educated friends to like all your comments so the opposition feels humiliated. The aim of the game is to completely destroy their opinion or desire to ever have one again.
  • Never educate them on the topic at hand. You want their argument to be wrong, but you do not ever want them to know what you know.
  • If all else fails attack their grammar. “It’s you’re* -YOUR argument is now invalid.”

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