In just under two weeks I will be turning 23, and after taking a good week to accept Mean Girls was created a decade ago, I have finally come to terms with my age through a list of everything I have learnt so far. Here is 20 things I have learnt in my early 20’s.
1. It is okay not to have your shit together, actually it is expected to be a complete mess. Waking up with a nightclub’s stamp from the night before transferred onto your face and finishing off the leftover kebab for breakfast, does not mean your teacher was right about you not going anywhere in life, it just means you’re cultured.
2. If you take less than five minutes to decide whether or not to have guacamole on your nachos, it means you have the ability to make informed, intelligent, life decisions. Don’t get me started on sour cream.
3. It is a time when less and less people card you when buying alcohol, so wear a school uniform to trick the bastards.
4. It’s no longer acceptable to just have a gym membership, now you actually have to use it.
5. No matter who comes over to your house (whether it’s a pool boy or a delivery lady) if your parents catch you talking to them they think you are going to marry and start a family with them.
6. Sleepovers don’t mean sleeping over anymore.
7. Post Festival Depression is actually a serious illness.
8. Used by dates become more of a recommendation than a necessity.
9. It’s completely fine to want all your similar aged friends to get married so you can take full advantage of the open bar, but think yourself as too young to tie the knot.
10. You’ve only got a few more years before you become too old for Instagram. Post as many selfies as you can.
11. Unless you are a professional or get paid, it’s kind of weird if you play sport.
12. The snooze button is your best friend.
13. Two day hangovers are actually a thing.
14. It’s time to accept that you will never go to a house party ever again – well not one like you did in your teen years where everyone you had on Myspace showed up, and the police showed up while you were curled up in the backyard telling a bottle of Passion Pop that you love it.
15. If you don’t have internet banking by now, then you aren’t a real person.
16. Chocolate is a colour, not a food source.
17. It becomes your responsibility to check for tissues in your pockets before you wash your own clothes.
18. Dating a celebrity seems more and more unattainable.
19. It is socially acceptable to have a public melt down over Subway not putting enough salad on the sub.
20. You’re going to be 30 sooner than you think.